Diane Bixler, Health Coach & Author

Cats are Jerks

But at least they are entertaining!

The Look! Classic Kirispuu.

The Look! Classic Kirispuu.

I awoke this morning to the subtle sound of cat food being dropped into a mostly-empty metal bowl. Anytime Kirsipuu can see silver, he’s convinced we’re starving him. His way of expressing his concern (and suggesting maybe we should add more food to the bowl) is to pick up pieces of food and drop them into the bowl.

Listening to the plinks this morning, I smiled as I opened my eyes. It was still dark out, which was a good thing, as I had to be at work before the sun rose. I checked the phone – I had a whopping 5 minutes until my alarm would sound. “Couldn’t he just let me have those last five minutes?” I thought to myself. I snuggled deeper into the covers, as if I could fall asleep and wake refreshed in the few short minutes that remained.

The next sounds that emanated from him weren’t so subtle. He ran full force, yowling to ensure we heard him, through the master bedroom and into the bathroom. Once inside, he jumped into the shower and continued to yowl, demanding water. See, Kirsipuu is a bit of an odd duck. He won’t drink water from a bowl, and instead, insists on running water.

He has an obsession with water, and only drinks running water.

He has an obsession with water, and only drinks running water.

James and I thought this was oh so cute when we adopted him, but after several days, we realized it’s actually kinda annoying. We sit on the toilet and watch him drink droplets of water falling from the faucet. Sometimes, if he’s really enjoying his drink, he’ll let the water run down his face, catching it on his paw, and licking it off. James and I quickly learned trusting him to walk out when he was done wasn’t going to happen. Oh no – he loves water (has a bit of an obsession with it) and will lay in the tub, watching it drip, half-asleep, half-awake for hours. He yowled a few more times, swishing the shower curtain to make more noise. I rolled over, convinced the last one or two minutes I had left would be mine to enjoy.

Sleep was not happening, as I was anticipating the sound of my alarm, but I wasn’t giving him the satisfaction of getting out of bed one second before I had to. I lay still, listening, but I couldn’t hear him. I was certain he had given up and that I had won. As a slight victory smile curled my lips, I heard the sliding noise. Just about the time my brain processed the sound, I heard the crash. He’d knocked something off the counter. At this point, I’m just about laughing at the game he and I are playing.

James mumbled something and I told him the cat knocked something off the counter. It was only a few seconds later we heard the same sound, and another item hit the floor. James hollered, “stop being an asshole!” as if Kirsipuu could really understand him. My alarm sounded, and I lounged a minute or so before I finally crawled out of bed to see what he’d disturbed. Fortunately, there was no glassware on the counter, just a few parts to my Halloween costume, so nothing was broken.

Cats are jerks, but at least they are entertaining!

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I'm Coach Bix, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach and author.

When I'm not working, cooking, or writing, I'm enjoying life to the fullest.

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© 2018 By Diane Bixler.

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